As I wrote back in October, we suffered a miscarriage at the end of September when I was just over nine weeks pregnant. It was the kind of loss we wouldn't want anyone else to experience, but by God's grace, we made it through and are stronger for it, like many who have suffered the same loss.
Through a work only God can do (especially given that it's taken us two years to get pregnant with each of our prior pregnancies), on 12/8, we got a positive home pregnancy test. We then received "official" word from the doc on 12/14 that we were, in fact, pregnant and the "numbers looked good." As you can imagine, we were beside ourselves excited. We were thrilled to be planning to surprise our families with the news at Christmas.
Unfortunately, on Friday afternoon, 12/18, I started having severe lower abdominal pain. Less than an hour later we were in the ER, and I was having bloodwork, a physical exam as well as an ultrasound done. The OB on-call confirmed through an emergency laparoscopy late Friday night that the pain was caused by an ectopic (or tubal) pregnancy. In other words, the baby had started developing in one of my fallopian tubes instead of my uterus, which was causing internal bleeding. The doctor was able to remove what had developed in the tube as well as more endometriosis from my uterine cavity.
What a roller coaster. In mid-August we were celebrating the new life inside of me. At the end of September we were grieving the loss of that sweet life. Ten days ago we were celebrating God's goodness and provision of another sweet life inside of me, our third babe. Today, I lay in bed physically recovering from emergency surgery, emotionally, not sure what to feel. A roller coaster.
But, honestly, no matter how much of a roller coaster this is, no matter how little all this makes sense, no matter how disappointing and frustrating, these facts still remain... God is still God. He is still on His throne. He is still in control. He knows our heartache. He knows our hearts' desire to have another child. And, again, His grace will get us through this.
And I still believe there is purpose in these trials.
Through a work only God can do (especially given that it's taken us two years to get pregnant with each of our prior pregnancies), on 12/8, we got a positive home pregnancy test. We then received "official" word from the doc on 12/14 that we were, in fact, pregnant and the "numbers looked good." As you can imagine, we were beside ourselves excited. We were thrilled to be planning to surprise our families with the news at Christmas.
Unfortunately, on Friday afternoon, 12/18, I started having severe lower abdominal pain. Less than an hour later we were in the ER, and I was having bloodwork, a physical exam as well as an ultrasound done. The OB on-call confirmed through an emergency laparoscopy late Friday night that the pain was caused by an ectopic (or tubal) pregnancy. In other words, the baby had started developing in one of my fallopian tubes instead of my uterus, which was causing internal bleeding. The doctor was able to remove what had developed in the tube as well as more endometriosis from my uterine cavity.
What a roller coaster. In mid-August we were celebrating the new life inside of me. At the end of September we were grieving the loss of that sweet life. Ten days ago we were celebrating God's goodness and provision of another sweet life inside of me, our third babe. Today, I lay in bed physically recovering from emergency surgery, emotionally, not sure what to feel. A roller coaster.
But, honestly, no matter how much of a roller coaster this is, no matter how little all this makes sense, no matter how disappointing and frustrating, these facts still remain... God is still God. He is still on His throne. He is still in control. He knows our heartache. He knows our hearts' desire to have another child. And, again, His grace will get us through this.
And I still believe there is purpose in these trials.
1 comment:
Bless your sweet heart--just want you to know that your in my thoughts today. I pray for God's complete healing in your life!
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